there she goes

It's been a while, and here we meet again in the month of december 2016. there's only 1 song and will always be associated with my december. don't know why but it's like december anthem, very melancholic and bit hopeful..

where do i begin after on hiatus for more than 2 years. a break which i initially thought for days or weeks, and it became 2 years? life and routines have finally caught up with us, and blogging was no longer a must. last post featured a 9 month old sufi and she's turning 3 in a month. aaqilah is already a big 10 year old, natalia now 7 is the one who enjoys school so much.

Bila maa tetiba semangat nak test skill photography 😅😝 #wonderingaaqilah #asknatalia #wisesufi #girls

A photo posted by Hasniza Hisma (@hasnizahisma) on Nov 26, 2016 at 3:49am PST

The other day at one of the best places serves masakan noghori 😋 #dinner #nilai #masakannoghori

A photo posted by Hasniza Hisma (@hasnizahisma) on Dec 1, 2016 at 12:18am PST

Day 06 A taste of spring/autumn
I will always love you, and make sure that you'll be in safe keep babe hahaha



Day 07 Where I'd rather be
Apparently I've had the birthday dinner at the same place as last year, and probably in the coming years since the choice is mine.


Day 08 Hobby
Apart from dslr and instax camera which is the latest member to my photography clan, personally I think iPhone camera takes quite stunning photos :)


Day 09 Dark
It's actually the liquid electric repeller.


Day 10 My fave part of the day
Auwww seeing sufi smiles the very first thing in the morning wakes you up instantly. Stronger than coffee :)
 

never thought that baking macarons can be very technical.

last year i went to a macarons class and was so overwhelming once i tasted the scrumptious and pretty looking macarons after the class finished. up until that time, the only macarons that i usually bought was from whisk empire as i rarely buy online. even aaqilah and natalia love macarons from whisk. i once bought from a kiosk in klcc and sadly, they're quite disappointing. i've tried once from a kiosk in metrojaya mid valley, and they're also not really satisfying although looked promising. so i thought, why it's such a big hit?

since i'm not a patissier and have not much experience with macarons, my opinions are solely based on my personal taste and what i think is good. to me, a perfect macarons should have this crispiness on a thin layer of skin but won't easily break when you have a bite. the softness inside the shell holds the sandwiched macarons but it's not soggy. surprisingly, a chocolate lover like myself prefers salted caramel filling macarons over chocolate ganache, but i think chocolate praline filling is one of the best i've ever tasted.

my first attempt with macarons was like a week or two after the class. based on my performance in the class, i was confident that it could work. nah, i was wrong and demotivated just after 1/3 of the process. my meringue wasn't consistent as it should have been, and as i suspected, most of them were flat and took so long to cook. i guessed i was clueless at how long it takes time to cook perfectly and the experiment was quite a disaster. but what i've started must be completed not matter what was the end result, hence sandwiched the shells with ganache fillings, and put them neatly in container. my spirit was lifted a bit as my sister told me it tasted quite good contrary to the looks.

so i had another go last 2 weeks. i prepared the raspberry jam filling the night before and went quite smooth. i thought ok, this is a good indication. the process went smoother, the meringue was quite a success with the extra help from sister, the part-time baker. even when i piped the macarons, they all looked good and i was quite confident that finally i've started to conquer my fear over previous attempt.

Day01 Something purple
Day02 In my hand
Day03 Shapes

Day04 Good together

Day05 Not mine

when i was asked what do i want for this year's birthday, i was sincerely clueless. how can i ask him for a present when i still owe him one for last year's. and then i've got the ultimate loafer for anniversary and accidentally lost one of the pair in a such freaking way within a month. i also couldn't make up my mind on what i want. ok, i want bottega veneta's nappa and i don't want to splurge myself to an impulsive buying which will make me regret after that. even i've had burberry's lace clutch in my hands, twice in jpo, i'm very proud of myself for having the ability to put a stop at this craziness. bravo hasniza, bravo!!

but actually, what more could i ask when i have o.h, aaqilah, natalia and now sufi in my life. it's a blessing when my parents and in laws are still around, in good healths and my siblings are all doing quite well. john and paul, you were totally right that money can't buy me love.

 we have a new addition to the family, baby sufi asfi kaleela.

 

there'll be one more episode before the 1 hour finale on 31 March.

How I Met Your Mother is bidding adieu after the 9 year journey. hence, most of my 9 years has been spent with the himym gang on a weekly basis and 9 years is quite a long duration. from my mid twenties until now (not yet mid thirties), we live, eat and sleep with the show. wah, dasatlah haha

in my case himym came out at the right time when i wasn't really attached to any show except bleach, honey and clover, yakitate japan, just naming a few anime series that i got stuck onto during that time. by that time means i was a housewife back then. we were young parents with a baby girl and still adapting to family life adjustments. o.h was a full-time student, and boy, life was simple and quite easy.

as time passes us by, the show itself has it's own ups and downs. sometimes it's not accelerating at good pace, there's time when i just watched it because it's himym. personally for me, himym has been a very good companion and watching it every tuesday is always a joy.

"And that's how it goes kids. The friends, neighbours, drinking buddies, partners in crimes you love so much when you were young, as the years go by, you just lose touch.
You will be shocked kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why when you find someone you wanna keep around, you do something about it."

Although it might be a bit late, introducing to you guys these 2 special instagram accounts, @cupsters   and the latter @projekshawl.

@cupsters
Our humble online baking business which I've founded many many years ago with the chocolate cake as the beginning. It's not really huge but manageable and we're proud of our homemade products ;) Highly recommended - Red Velvet cake/cupcake with creamy cheese cream frosting and always my favourite, Devils Food cupcake with chocolate ganache.

Feel free to follow @cupsters and to like our page too Cupsters.Monsters



@projekshawl
Due to my petite built, I've always had problems finding my perfect shawl. If the width is ok, I've had issues with the length and vice versa. Sometimes I've had issues with the materials's opaqueness and material itself. When I see others wearing cute shawls, I always wonder where did they get theirs and one day I thought why not do it myself ones. So that's how it began, a small side project by yours truly. But who knows where this step might lead me to, amen.. Psss, just let me know if you like any of these..

Anyway, there're still many rooms for improvements and a lot for me to learn. It's exciting, challenging and yet could be rewarding. So please, your supports are very much appreciated..

Follow @projekshawl and like the page projekshawl

i don't know how the thrills and excitement of blogging went kaput.
it just stopped and that's it.

until today, when i was trying to recall something that i've posted before. there i have it and all of a sudden the excitement and thrills slowly came back. the blog looks clean, all thanks to the white background. although the font looks small, thank God i still have not much problem reading them.

since the last post, i've always felt that nothing much happened and to share. the list of readings has significantly decreased over the years. i wasn't interested in things anymore, i felt that work and family life have consumed most of my energy yang tak seberapa ni. the life itself has become routine, weekend is more like a commitment and to be honest, once in a while not really looking towards it.

sometimes the small things around you make the life much more appreciated and sweeter.

hey hasniza, welcome back and let's enjoy this ride again =)

december datang lagi..

macam baru je januari rasanya, tiba-tiba dah nak masuk tahun baru. alhamdulillah sebab punya kesempatan untuk welcome tahun baru, dan juga untuk a roller coaster ride of 2012. biasalah jalan tak semestinya lurus dan cantik macam highway, ada banyak simpang, roundabout, traffic light dan sebagainya. kadang-kadang sampai jalan mati dan kena buat 3 point turn dan patah balik. oh aku dan metafora, getting better gitu haha

jadi apa kita nak cerita pasal 2012 ni. alhamdulillah =) dari awal tahun aku ada la berazam secara agak hangat-hangat taik ayam supaya lebih produktif, lebih rajin dan lebih progresif. tak nak malas-malas sangat. nak belajar something yang baru.

somehow most of my wishes were answered. kadang-kadang kita tak sedar tapi apa yang kita nak dan doa secara diam dimakbulkan. mungkin not the exact wish tapi Allah itu maha besar dan maha mengetahui. dan selalunya apa kau dapat insyaAllah baiklah untuk kau, walaupun mungkin kita tak nampak hari ni. of course aku terus doakan plan yang lebih grand dan baik dari hari ini amin..

nampaknya 2012 started dengan perasaan agak demotivated. aku sebok mencari job baru. dan seperti biasalah aku ni, string of failures, macam sinonim. aku dapat interview kat company idaman, sampai dekat 2 jam, macam ada harapan dan of course aku berharap. tapi bila takde orang call esoknya atau lusanya dan juga sepanjang minggu, aku rasa another failure ni. lepas tu bila aku check kat sistem, walaupun as expected tapi sakit jugak ooo tengok terpampang depan mata, UNSUCCESSFUL status tu. pergh, makan dalam. lepas tu aku pon pasrah dan layan je. team ok, uk counterparts pon ok, tapi aku macam searching for something yang tak diketahui.

sangat tak tersangka akan dapat panggilan about a week after birthday. aku pergi dengan tak berharap pape, dan belasah aje dalam bahasa pasarnya. who knows, rezeki tu belongs to me. started the new journey in august, dan so far banyak benda nak kena belajar. yelah dah niat nak belajar sampai pandai kan. jangan give up dan sentiasa berusaha =) gambate!!

bandung, berlin and stavanger, woww very unexpected

after a while, i tend to forget how good and reliable i could be. dah lama aku rasa aku ni full of craps dan poyo. poyo poyo poyo. lazy bum. pathetic. sedeh. ah masih belum terlambat untuk melakukan sesuatu la.

harapan 2013 kita cerita dalam entri lain la ye. yang pasti miss aaqilah akan standard 1. hari tu aku cakap kat dia, aaqilah next year aaqilah standard 1. lepas tu darjah 6. then sekolah menengah, uni, kerja and nak kahwin. aaahh sedihnya maa.. dengan tersipu-sipu tak sure dia faham ke tak dia reply, apaa la maa ni..

a long december and there's reason to believe
maybe this year will be better than the last
i can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving
oh the days go by so fast

and it's been a long december and there's reason to believe
maybe this year will be better than the last
i can't remember all the times i tried to tell myself
to hold on to these moments as they pass 

p/s: esok nak melayan counting crows la hahaha

i think i was quite comfortable and ready for this one. why not, another bundle of joy is more than welcome to what we 're having now. natalia is getting bigger and should learn the responsibility being a big sister. unlike aaqilah, she has much more exposure to kids around her age. to aaqilah it's always ok.

frankly speaking, at first i wanted one, and apparently i thought i wanted one, if you know what i mean.  when the blue line clearly showed the 2 lines, i was a bit stunned. i told o.h, we never fail at this test. however, there's one bit at the deepest part instinctively came out out of nowhere, sure you ready this time? yeah, being thankful i must welcome.

unlike the previous 2 before, i felt fine. once in a while i nearly forgot that there's a bun in the oven. but one day when i traced there's bleeding i started to panic. i left early, drove to shah alam to pickup kids and then was rushing to the clinic. unfortunately my doctor wasn't around and we went home. i prayed hard, please please please..

the next morning, i was still bleeding and after calling a day off, i went again to clinic for check. the doctor was a bit worried and she sent me to specialist for further checkup. she told me, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. God must have a better plan for me insyaAllah.

although i went to clinic since morning, it's only nearly 5pm i was driving home, alone. o.h was already informed. it's been such a tiring and overwhelming day for me. it's confirmed that i was having a miscarriage and the d&c should follow next.

***********************************************

this friday will mark a month after the procedure. i'd really thought that i was tough, however it hit me all of a sudden while in a car with o.h on our way back. i felt loss, but i believe it too, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be..

till next time, amin..

my jpo trip today, the first ever.

oh tooks days off, sempena untuk bawak kiterang jalan-jalan. so it came down to jpo against nasi ganja. ye, memang meleleh air liur gak teringat nasi ganja but never went to jpo before. saja nak tengok camne. komen orang, fossil best, la senza not bad.

komen aku, fossil memang best. seronok aku masuk ahahaha.. la senza, probably bukan rezeki aku untuk offer menarik, better beli di waktu sale cam sekarang. with additional member's discount, much more better and more options to choose.

barang macam tak berapa banyak. sale pon tak berapa menarik. ada laa jugak, tapi mungkin saya sudah tidak punya mood sangat. alaa macam bila mood untuk besoping, maka belek barang pon dengan perasaan gembira.

oh cakap even lower standard than junction apa ntah kat area sheffield/leeds tu. aku rasa memang tak telawan bicester village, portsmouth, swindon, ashford dan sewaktu dengannya. la valle pon barang2 menarik dan lagi banyak, walopon tak murah. tak fair plak rasanya nak compare kan hehehe

nak buat camne, dah the number itself in rrp is already huge..

hh - kedai worth to visit -> fossil
oh - nike, adidas

alasan pembelian - senang nak letak henpon n duit waktu nak klua lunch ahahaha

ok, kali ni entri yang aku malas nak fikir dan simply type saja. is that possible?

dengan tak semena-mena aku cuba untuk ada entri just before 2012, tapi sebab layan tv dan budak-budak manja ni, tak sempat. dapatla 12.00 am on the dot. tak dapatlah date 31.12.2011. that's fine. sebab aku fikir aku akan the next 24 hours untuk coming up with a new entry serba semangat on the 1st jan. haha nil too

2011, nothing much happened. wasn's as tough and challenging as 2010, but picked up really slow. tatau camne nak cakap, but i sense something better this year? ameen and insyaAllah =)

o.h masih kuat semangat mengejar cita-cita baru as a pro golfer. aku masih lagi rasa stuck. sungguh tak best. stuck tang mana, mengapa, kenapa, pasal apa? aku pun stuck dengan jawapan yang still beneath surface. simply because, aku kurang bersyukur dengan kehidupan yang serba ada ni. whining, bitching and complaining, all the time. jadi, all the negativities only make you feel like sh7t.

tahun baru islam masih tak sampai 2 bulan. dengan kedatangan tahun baru 2012 ni, semoga semangat berkobar-kobar yang datang ni lebih membuatkan tak lupa pada the old hasniza. when she's 12, 15, or 21. probably the carefree 25. ok itu sekadar umur. kesimpulannya, di manakah hasniza yang ambitious, driven dan penuh daya imaginasi tinggi itu?

1st, bersyukur dari hati yang ikhlas dan humble, di atas segala nikmat dan apa yang kita ada sehingga kini. o.h the husband, the man and the best friend. a.a.i and n.a.a. syukur alhamdulillah kerana mak semakin kuat dan sihat, syukur untuk kesihatan yang terbaik dan keluarga besar tersayang. kesihatan yang baik, that's priceless. jadi mari kita teruskan dengan kesyukuran ini insyaAllah.

aku pernah terbaca somewhere,  apa yang Allah tunaikan untuk kita kerana Dia maha mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kita walaupun kita fikirkan/mahukan sebaliknya. mungkin kita tak sedar sekarang, kan. bila difikir-fikir balik, alhamdulillah apa yang aku pernah niat, hajat dan doakan, somehow granted, walaupun dalam keadaan sengaja dan tak sengaja.

alhamdulillah..

how can i forget about this? we emerged as the champion =), both men and women teams won gold at our first participation. gila!!

i discovered that i am apparently, quite a good digger hahaha

it's hard to get back to blogging after so long.

kata o.h, blogging is dead. sekarang orang nak mengupdate sesuatu sangat senang, dengan adanya facebook, twitter dan bermacam-macam lagi social networking tools yang ada di dunia yang canggih ni. super ringkas dan super padat. orang macam aku yang layan tulis benda yang berjela-jela ni rasa, susahnya nak put into few words. sementelah broadband ni tak free, jadi maka baiklah kita menggunakan semaksima mungkin. mungkin ada orang yang masih sudi membaca tulisan panjang berjela ;)

yes, i come to realize that my extra time yang tak seberapa itu is much more needed by other people. probably kalau aku punya teknologi canggih seperti ipad (thank you steve jobs) pon belum tentu aku akan sentiasa berblog. blogging yang aku sudah ulang kali cakap, satu terapi yang sangat bagus, bila idea itu datang tanpa henti.

ada satu part dalam komik doraemon bila nobita kena menulis dan kasi alasan yang alangkah bagusnya kalau ada tool yang boleh menulis direct dari apa yang kita fikirkan. wah kalau macam tu memang aku boleh menulis 10 kali sehari, strongly proves that i think a lot inside. tak bagus, sebab punya tendency untuk mendatangkan headache dan heartache. tapi at least aku tak buat dosa free hahaha

ye, pagi ni seumpama satu kejutan dan entah kenapa aku rasa sedih pulak walhal takde kaitan langsung. mungkin sebab apple impress me so much for its clean design and the simplicity concept. neither over the top nor pretentious. kata julia child, simple doesn't mean that it easy. kata o.h once you go mac, you'll never go back.

permulaan yang decent dari saya ;)

ciao and salam

salah satu hasil dari kelas bersilat or formally knows as self defense class, can refer here

ada 5 orang awarded with certificate dari sesi yang lepas, 4 je dapat attended and salah seorang ialah yours truly. kali ni kita bergambar dengan sesi terbaru june - august. far right ialah our instructor. excited tak muka aku hahaha

intructor : bila nak datang kelas?

me: is this the 3rd class? err.. soon hopefully

wah, selamba aku memberi janji-janji mungkin palsu. bukan taknak, sebetulnya memang aku berminat dan sangat enjoy tapi kadang-kadang tu ada rasa malas sikit ;)

dalam gambar last tu, i already forgave myself for accidentally being in sleeping mode. haish.. sapalah amek gambar ni?

lazy eye ialah satu condition di mana mata kita menjadi tidak properly aligned with each other. ia akan menyebabkan gangguan pada vision dan jarak pengamatan seseorang.

dulu bila aku dengar lazy eye tu, aku ingat mata yang seperti droopy keadaannya. seperti maksudnya malas, jadi dia malas untuk digunakan menyebabkan sebelah mata akan lebih aktif dari sebelah mata yang lagi satu. apa yang aku faham, macam agak betul tapi kurang tepat.

ada orang kata juling tapi aku tak sure.

due to small 'lump' kat mata kiri aaqilah, it's detected that aaqilah has already developed early lazy eyes symptoms. sejak bila, kita pon tak sure. setelah hampir 2 tahun since the last check, last week aaqilah started again her eye checkup routine.

treatments yang mandatori untuk aaqilah as for now,

• pakai eye patch dalam 2-3 jam sehari untuk train balik penggunaan mata kiri dia dengan merehatkan mata kanan
• pakai spek dengan power yang lebih on the left eye side