there she goes

I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something. So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life. Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever. Neil Gaiman #happynewyear2017 #artsy #whatalongpost #alhamdulillah #reflection #typic

A photo posted by Hasniza Hisma (@hasnizahisma) on Dec 31, 2016 at 10:24pm PST

happy new year 2017

so i'd like to jot down a few lines on the first page of 2017's book. haven't really into this tradition of making the first day of january such a celebration since the past few years, because to me it's just another day and just happens to be the first one. yes i used to blog 'happy new year 20XX' and blah blah, that's all.

i just felt a bit different this year. was it because most people on facebook that i know celebrated new year and posted something online? or maybe because i've secretly declared that i wanted to be more active on social media which prompted me to join the bandwagon, i think so too..

last night, we went out for a dinner as aaqilah repeatedly mentioned we should go to see fireworks, or at least be at somewhere happenings because it's new year. we just told her that was something we haven't done in years. it's almost sounded like a pleading, at least we should go to citta mall she said. since natalia and apparently sufi too were having a mild diarrhea hence we decided it's better not to divert anywhere after dinner. too bad no fireworks display could be seen from subang bestari.

so i thought, it's not really about the first day of january or the moment 12 midnight struck but at least i wanted to give them the feel and opportunity being at those busy places once in a while. probably celebrating new year will be one of those that they'll remember experiencing when they're kids. ain't that something nice to have?

let's start one shall we, i'll post any celebration photos next time on social media, be it on instagram or fb or my own blog :)

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something. So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life. Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever.” ― Neil Gaiman

when i was asked what do i want for this year's birthday, i was sincerely clueless. how can i ask him for a present when i still owe him one for last year's. and then i've got the ultimate loafer for anniversary and accidentally lost one of the pair in a such freaking way within a month. i also couldn't make up my mind on what i want. ok, i want bottega veneta's nappa and i don't want to splurge myself to an impulsive buying which will make me regret after that. even i've had burberry's lace clutch in my hands, twice in jpo, i'm very proud of myself for having the ability to put a stop at this craziness. bravo hasniza, bravo!!

but actually, what more could i ask when i have o.h, aaqilah, natalia and now sufi in my life. it's a blessing when my parents and in laws are still around, in good healths and my siblings are all doing quite well. john and paul, you were totally right that money can't buy me love.

 we have a new addition to the family, baby sufi asfi kaleela.

 

aaq: maa, boleh saya nak change my name?
maa: (quite surprised) eh, kenapa nak tukar? awak kan suka nama tu?
aaq: saya nak tukar to something else. my classmates semua panggil aa-aa-qilah. (this must be her spelling with the double AA)
maa: oooooo.. maa and ayah gave u aaqilah sebab spellingnya unik. ada nama Aqilah, or Akilah but yours is unique one..

and she was in silence, probably digesting the reason that i gave her.

dearest aaqilah,
you might always be on top of the name list and kids might make fun of your name, but we wanted you to know that it's not an instant to come up with your name. we took time because we care, and we'll always love how AAQILAH spelt ;)

my mother sent my siblings and i to our quranic reading class near our house when we were young. very near that we only walked to the class and once in a while we ran in order to arrive at earliest.

i still remembered that there was a weekly fardhu ain class, where we had tazkirah sessions and solat berjemaah after that. in one of the classes i was introduced to yusuf islam or previously known as cat steven. my ustazah told us about his journey story embracing islam, and we learnt to sing his song. all i could recall was the first few lines something like these..

A' is for Allah, nothing but Allah
Ba' is the beginning of bismillah
...

when aaqilah was around a year or something, i was suddenly heard that song playing in my mind. i thought since i was in uk, it'd be easier to get the cd. so i was searching for that particular cd on amazon uk, and finally bought one based on the reviews that i've read about it. why i just didn't google the lyric back then.. duh.. ironically the imported cd was all the way from malaysia.

i didn't find the same song in the cd, but my kids really enjoy most of the songs until now. even they have their favourite playlist and make me play them over and over again. from aaqilah, to natalia and will be passing to sufi one day..

recommended =)

there'll be one more episode before the 1 hour finale on 31 March.

How I Met Your Mother is bidding adieu after the 9 year journey. hence, most of my 9 years has been spent with the himym gang on a weekly basis and 9 years is quite a long duration. from my mid twenties until now (not yet mid thirties), we live, eat and sleep with the show. wah, dasatlah haha

in my case himym came out at the right time when i wasn't really attached to any show except bleach, honey and clover, yakitate japan, just naming a few anime series that i got stuck onto during that time. by that time means i was a housewife back then. we were young parents with a baby girl and still adapting to family life adjustments. o.h was a full-time student, and boy, life was simple and quite easy.

as time passes us by, the show itself has it's own ups and downs. sometimes it's not accelerating at good pace, there's time when i just watched it because it's himym. personally for me, himym has been a very good companion and watching it every tuesday is always a joy.

"And that's how it goes kids. The friends, neighbours, drinking buddies, partners in crimes you love so much when you were young, as the years go by, you just lose touch.
You will be shocked kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why when you find someone you wanna keep around, you do something about it."

probably after it ends, i'll rerun the whole season again 1-9

;(

legend - wait for it.. - dary! self-five

Although it might be a bit late, introducing to you guys these 2 special instagram accounts, @cupsters   and the latter @projekshawl.

@cupsters
Our humble online baking business which I've founded many many years ago with the chocolate cake as the beginning. It's not really huge but manageable and we're proud of our homemade products ;) Highly recommended - Red Velvet cake/cupcake with creamy cheese cream frosting and always my favourite, Devils Food cupcake with chocolate ganache.

Feel free to follow @cupsters and to like our page too Cupsters.Monsters



@projekshawl
Due to my petite built, I've always had problems finding my perfect shawl. If the width is ok, I've had issues with the length and vice versa. Sometimes I've had issues with the materials's opaqueness and material itself. When I see others wearing cute shawls, I always wonder where did they get theirs and one day I thought why not do it myself ones. So that's how it began, a small side project by yours truly. But who knows where this step might lead me to, amen.. Psss, just let me know if you like any of these..

Anyway, there're still many rooms for improvements and a lot for me to learn. It's exciting, challenging and yet could be rewarding. So please, your supports are very much appreciated..

Follow @projekshawl and like the page projekshawl

I've started shopping for new baby quite recently.

Actually it's all started when I went to a facial and the masseur was promoting leesa's formula postnatal set. Since I had the treatment at the spa, there's a 20% discount if I bought the product. I was this close to buy but then halted. Must study this first, I thought.

The next few days was spent on reading reviews and finally I've decided on Tanamera. Firstly I think I could make full use of the products (have started using some actually). During Aaqilah I was on Nona Roguy (love the minyak herba, bau sedap), Natalia was on HPA. OK, I wasn't really concerned on the postnatal set as long as I had one, and both of the sets were specially brought to UK that time. Terima dengan redha. In case of Tanamera, I managed to get that during online promotion.

After that, nothing much purchased, as I always feel that we've got most of the stuffs. To be honest, don't get me started on this because once the list started, I'll end up with what a long one even longer than first time mommies.

So, it's better to have the hospital bag ready first.

The list may yet completes but all I could think so far:
Mine

• Tops (blouses, tshirts)
• Pants (loose)
• Kain batik (if I could find where I keep those haha)
• Maternity/Nursing bras, panties
• Pairs of socks
• Camera (make sure fully charged)
• Handphone and charger/power bank
• Necessary ointments
• Toiletteries/Towel 

Baby 

•  Sleepsuits
•  Pampers
•  Napkins/Swaddle
•  Mittens/booties
•  Carseat (namanya alang-alang dah ada ;P)

Stumbled upon aden + anais while I was spending some time off in Mothercare. The logo and packaging look so cute that makes me googling about it straight away. Now whose fault is that when drooling over these cutesies. o.h responded, alaa kita pakai lampin je huhuhuhu




So far the search is still no avail, very hard to find the particular easy swaddle here

It's Aaqilah's first day at new school. I was worried before because she's never been alone in a new environment setting since she went to kindergarden with her cousin. Alhamdulillah, she adjusted well and seems to love the school. Even maa and ayah need to readjust to her new time table =)

During her first week starting school. FYI this is her first time being sent away to a place totally strange to her. Proud of you Natalia for adjustting yourself within the first 2 weeks, yeayy!! It's like a rollercoaster ride with Natalia and school and I think she quite enjoys herself there.

Aaqilah has started her swimming lesson this year, haaa this pic is not so related. If I could, I wanted to send them to many kind of classes but I guess that can be quite ambitious for parents. If you ask o.h, he'll simply reply, let them kid be kids. Ok one class at a time and it fits Aaqilah and her adventurous nature. Unlike Aaqilah, Natalia tu takut air la.

The most recent photo of us during a wedding trip in Kuantan. Look at the kids now, how time flies and growing up before your eyes makes me realise that us too have grown up a lot since their arrivals. Being parents teaches me a lot and there's still so many things to learn at the same time. I used to think that we started quite early (being parents at 26 was quite challenging hehe), but looking back at the journey we started nearly 8 years ago is such a humbling and grateful feelings. Seriously when I told o.h I wanted to get married at 25, I simply said without much considerations although I thought the idea is awesome. There and then I got the wish granted ;)

i think i was quite comfortable and ready for this one. why not, another bundle of joy is more than welcome to what we 're having now. natalia is getting bigger and should learn the responsibility being a big sister. unlike aaqilah, she has much more exposure to kids around her age. to aaqilah it's always ok.

frankly speaking, at first i wanted one, and apparently i thought i wanted one, if you know what i mean.  when the blue line clearly showed the 2 lines, i was a bit stunned. i told o.h, we never fail at this test. however, there's one bit at the deepest part instinctively came out out of nowhere, sure you ready this time? yeah, being thankful i must welcome.

unlike the previous 2 before, i felt fine. once in a while i nearly forgot that there's a bun in the oven. but one day when i traced there's bleeding i started to panic. i left early, drove to shah alam to pickup kids and then was rushing to the clinic. unfortunately my doctor wasn't around and we went home. i prayed hard, please please please..

the next morning, i was still bleeding and after calling a day off, i went again to clinic for check. the doctor was a bit worried and she sent me to specialist for further checkup. she told me, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. God must have a better plan for me insyaAllah.

although i went to clinic since morning, it's only nearly 5pm i was driving home, alone. o.h was already informed. it's been such a tiring and overwhelming day for me. it's confirmed that i was having a miscarriage and the d&c should follow next.

***********************************************

this friday will mark a month after the procedure. i'd really thought that i was tough, however it hit me all of a sudden while in a car with o.h on our way back. i felt loss, but i believe it too, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be..

till next time, amin..

aku demam dan kebah beberapa kali di musim 7..

anything can happen in 8th season. seems almost certain but the the journey in the middle must be told convincingly haha

the gentleman..

hh : aaqilah, esok birthday maa
oh : kita nak kasi maa apa aaqilah?
aaq : kita kasi maa tabung duit
nat : yeyy

i was like, ooo ok =) dalam hati bangga gak ahaks

Robin: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
Barney: I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am.

demam..

this song was featured at the end of disaster averted, it felt right, no.

Stumbled upon this while looking back at old photos. Still the similar fashion she had since i could remember, straight, bit messy.

if i could ask her now, she just smiles and vaguely nearly to none remember anything about this.

i guess her living experience during those time wasn't yet registered in her long-term memory storage. but we do =)

picture - courtesy to one of the girls, probably it's u lala =)

in addition to these 2 events, we were cordially invited to a housewarming party in setapak, a celebrated birthday party in putrajaya and of course my dearest's cotton tea party in kepong.

wow.. u people know how to keep me busy all at once

very big grin

Aaq: maa kenapa?
Me : sakit perut, angin
Aaq: maa bukak baju sikit, nanti angin keluar ikut pusat.
Me : err betul ke, boleh jadi ni?
Aaq: betul, angin keluar ikut pusat, shu shu (tgn dia tunjuk almost everywhere) nanti maa elok

Aaq: maa minum air apa
Me : coffee
Aaq: kenapa maa minum hot driNk?
Me : maa minum air panas dulu. Later boleh minum air sejuk
Aaq: kenapa maa tak buat air tea?
Me : ni kan perut dah masuk angin. kena stop minum la jap
Aaq: maa buat la mcam saya cakap tadi. Pastu maa buat air tea. Kita boleh minum

Ooo patut laa

Salam ramadhan =)

i've finally updated cupsters, please click here for the latest.

took me months to gather stuffs, ideas, and the ideal concept for a better and stylish look. tapi aku tetap cuba maintain seminimal yang boleh, maklumla saya ni minimalist orangnya ;) clean look and fresh, hopefully.

hence, feel free to drop by and your feedbacks are highly and very much appreciated. dengan rendah hati saya mengucapkan terima kasih..

oh by the way, it's nearly there. still not satisfied and wouldn't call it our final product. but, it's there..

fly high cupsters =)

A belated entry from aaqilah's birthday last.. month hahah!!

Aku tidur pukul 4 pagi, and it's totally worth the next morning's doziness and dizziness. Baked nearly 140s red velvet cupcakes which I topped with vanilla buttercream. Maklumlah budak-budak tak semua sukakan cheese cream, and mentioning about cheese cream I think I could come up with a good entry of cupcakes frosting ;)

So, from the bottom of maa's heart, I wished you dear happy birthday (this is past hasniza ok), loves u much, dan doa yang terbaik dan terindah untuk aaqilah.. amin =)

Sebelah petangnya lepas balik sekolah, other half belikan aaqilah kek aiskrim. mujur strawberi tadelah aku bitter sangat. aku tade time tu, tak sempat nak kejar ke shah alam. oh i was stucked in a meeting..



p/s: cupcakes 100 biji dan sebiji kek, itulah hadiahnya hehehehe priceless!!

salah satu hasil dari kelas bersilat or formally knows as self defense class, can refer here

ada 5 orang awarded with certificate dari sesi yang lepas, 4 je dapat attended and salah seorang ialah yours truly. kali ni kita bergambar dengan sesi terbaru june - august. far right ialah our instructor. excited tak muka aku hahaha

intructor : bila nak datang kelas?

me: is this the 3rd class? err.. soon hopefully

wah, selamba aku memberi janji-janji mungkin palsu. bukan taknak, sebetulnya memang aku berminat dan sangat enjoy tapi kadang-kadang tu ada rasa malas sikit ;)

dalam gambar last tu, i already forgave myself for accidentally being in sleeping mode. haish.. sapalah amek gambar ni?