there she goes

quoted from my instagram,

I wasn't really on a particular colour but I just loved the fabric and it happened to be purple for my husband's reception.
After nearly 9 years and 3 daughters 

He still can fit in the baju melayu, but i need to shed some pounds here and there to get back in that kebaya shape haha although that kebaya was tailored a bit loose than my actual measurements.

ok, next.. 2nd day, keep on posting ;)

my mother sent my siblings and i to our quranic reading class near our house when we were young. very near that we only walked to the class and once in a while we ran in order to arrive at earliest.

i still remembered that there was a weekly fardhu ain class, where we had tazkirah sessions and solat berjemaah after that. in one of the classes i was introduced to yusuf islam or previously known as cat steven. my ustazah told us about his journey story embracing islam, and we learnt to sing his song. all i could recall was the first few lines something like these..

A' is for Allah, nothing but Allah
Ba' is the beginning of bismillah
...

when aaqilah was around a year or something, i was suddenly heard that song playing in my mind. i thought since i was in uk, it'd be easier to get the cd. so i was searching for that particular cd on amazon uk, and finally bought one based on the reviews that i've read about it. why i just didn't google the lyric back then.. duh.. ironically the imported cd was all the way from malaysia.

i didn't find the same song in the cd, but my kids really enjoy most of the songs until now. even they have their favourite playlist and make me play them over and over again. from aaqilah, to natalia and will be passing to sufi one day..

recommended =)

last week was an exam week for aaqilah. we were a bit nervous at first, and the stress level was hiking as we felt aaqilah wasn't ready for her exam. being a stressful mom (very ones) i started my ceramah  and continued blabbering whenever i felt i must to. poor aaqilah..

so a few days before the exam, we have started preparing her with her 2-3 hours per session daily regime. budak tu baru darjah 1 ok. day and night for all subjects. whenever we asked her questions, she became hesitant with her answers and then just simply replied 'i don't know'.

however during the study sessions, questions started to arise. did the learnings were so much fun back then that our parents let us be kids. has the level of education system nowadays increased, thus subjects for standard 1 now become more difficult. or is aaqilah unable to coupe during learning sessions? o.h told aaqilah that he didn't need to study when he was in standard 1-3 and getting 100% was no biggie. all i could recall is, standard 1-3 was quite easy. in order to motivate her, i told aaqilah my favorite subject was mathematics but my english was terrible. her command in english is way better than mine, even natalia speaks english better when i was around their age.

one important question, do we put high expectations on her to always perform? do I put high expectations on her?

a day after her exam finished, o.h told me aaqilah scored 98% for her bahasa melayu.wow, very encouraging. later more results came in, 89% for her maths, B for arabic (around 70++) and 84% for dunia sains. i started to worry again, as i thought if you couldn't get strong A's (90 and above) when you're in standard 1, how will you perform after this?

the answer is always yes. i guess for next year and afterwards, we'll let her being kid of her age but she must abide her responsibity as student, daughter and good muslim. what could be more satisfying than achieving very good results after hard labour?

rumours that i've heard, moms of her classmates complained that the exam was difficult. her friends didn't score either, even their kids told them that the highest score for sains is 80++. err, could it be aaqilah?

let see what her teacher is going to say next week.. jeng jeng jeng

It's Aaqilah's first day at new school. I was worried before because she's never been alone in a new environment setting since she went to kindergarden with her cousin. Alhamdulillah, she adjusted well and seems to love the school. Even maa and ayah need to readjust to her new time table =)

During her first week starting school. FYI this is her first time being sent away to a place totally strange to her. Proud of you Natalia for adjustting yourself within the first 2 weeks, yeayy!! It's like a rollercoaster ride with Natalia and school and I think she quite enjoys herself there.

Aaqilah has started her swimming lesson this year, haaa this pic is not so related. If I could, I wanted to send them to many kind of classes but I guess that can be quite ambitious for parents. If you ask o.h, he'll simply reply, let them kid be kids. Ok one class at a time and it fits Aaqilah and her adventurous nature. Unlike Aaqilah, Natalia tu takut air la.

The most recent photo of us during a wedding trip in Kuantan. Look at the kids now, how time flies and growing up before your eyes makes me realise that us too have grown up a lot since their arrivals. Being parents teaches me a lot and there's still so many things to learn at the same time. I used to think that we started quite early (being parents at 26 was quite challenging hehe), but looking back at the journey we started nearly 8 years ago is such a humbling and grateful feelings. Seriously when I told o.h I wanted to get married at 25, I simply said without much considerations although I thought the idea is awesome. There and then I got the wish granted ;)

i don't know how the thrills and excitement of blogging went kaput.
it just stopped and that's it.

until today, when i was trying to recall something that i've posted before. there i have it and all of a sudden the excitement and thrills slowly came back. the blog looks clean, all thanks to the white background. although the font looks small, thank God i still have not much problem reading them.

since the last post, i've always felt that nothing much happened and to share. the list of readings has significantly decreased over the years. i wasn't interested in things anymore, i felt that work and family life have consumed most of my energy yang tak seberapa ni. the life itself has become routine, weekend is more like a commitment and to be honest, once in a while not really looking towards it.

sometimes the small things around you make the life much more appreciated and sweeter.

hey hasniza, welcome back and let's enjoy this ride again =)

for no apparent reason,
take me back to 2007

Stumbled upon this while looking back at old photos. Still the similar fashion she had since i could remember, straight, bit messy.

if i could ask her now, she just smiles and vaguely nearly to none remember anything about this.

i guess her living experience during those time wasn't yet registered in her long-term memory storage. but we do =)

i long for you Spring,
long gone cold, here comes the flower


untuk memanfaatkan spring yang sangat cantik, maka saya dan aaqilah berdua berjalan ke southampton city untuk sesi bergambar bersama bunga-bunga. FYI, i was 5 months pregnant =)

an old entry actually

on the way ke usj 5 tadi hujan sangat lebat, siap ada kilat memancar kat sebelah kereta. terus aku tengok kuku..

bila tengok kuku aku teringat antara habit waktu zaman kanak-kanak dulu. waktu kiterang sekolah agama, kalau hujan lebat dan kilat sabung menyabung nanti kiterang akan tengok kuku. sapa kuku yang panjang sikit mulalah risau, sebab takut syaitan menyorok bawah kuku. maka kalau syaitan dan iblis menyorok bawah kuku, nanti kilat akan cari kita untuk dipanah. bila aku cerita kat o.h dia gelak je.

lagi habit budak-budak especially waktu tadika dan mula-mula masuk sekolah rendah ialah tulis alif lam lam ha' kat barang-barang. sapa amik dia berdosa, kalau berani dan tak takut tuhan amiklaa. ada yang siap tulis, alif lam lam ha', sapa amek berdosa. time tu dengar perkataan dosa pon rasa takut. 

haha cerita budak-budak..

bola 1, bola 1, 2, 3

this is my first attempt, updating blog via email. sungguh backdated dan kampung sekali i nih. dahle lepas update tu takleh nak view live plak tu, ipodku pon tidak bercharge. ipod ye, bukan iphone, saya tidak punya iphone. mujur ada wifi yang boleh kutumpang, dapatlah meninjau fb sekali sekala.

cerita pasal iphone kadang-kadang aku jeles dengan o.h. especially bila aku in the middle of somewhere, dan dengan tiba-tiba juga desperately need something in the middle of somewhere. ye, aku rasa aku juga sudah menjadi technology dependant, sesuatu yang aku cuba avoid.

aku pernah travel dengan kawan-kawan sebanyak 3 kereta kat uk dulu. aku rasa our car was the only one without gps, dengan cabaran mencari accomodation di satu ceruk di tengah malam adalah sangat mencabar bila kau berpandukan map. even kiterang kalau travel selalunya refer pada map, ye mencabar dan sangat pening kepala bagi kes orang yang takleh baca dalam kenderaan bergerak macam aku ni. bila kau bergaduh laki bini blaming on each other's faults, itulah priceless dan memorable. atau kau baca map terbalik semata-mata mengikut north, ya itulah memorable. atau juga bila certain pages hilang sebab anak dah koyakkan, eii rasa nak makan tangan budak tu pulak. alaa beli je la map baru, bukannya mahal pun.

oh, aku masih busy dengan training during lunch hour plak tu. walaupun lapar, tapi bila mengantuk tu tetap tak boleh tahan, sleepyhead.

let see if this works

bismillah..

alahai rindunya aku pada jalan-jalan bercuti yang menyenangkan dan menyakitkan kaki =)

tanggal hari ni marks setahun lebih aku tak bercuti sakan. oklah, within setahun dari sept 2009 sampai hari ni, tipu sangatlah kalau tak ke mana. yang boleh diingat, port dickson trip oleh tripkengkawan, perlis and penang menghantar della kahwin trip, dan juga unplanned trip to kuala kangsar.

apakah jenis holiday yang aku selalu berangankan? aku berangan untuk getting hitam di tepi pantai. bermalas-malas sambil menghusya budak-budak ni main pasir atau makan pasir dalam kes natalia. sungguh malas sekali.. dan menyenangkan.

tapi cuti yang aku rasa the most exciting ialah getting intimacy with one place yang aku rasa masuk kategori menyakitkan kaki. tak sakit kaki maka tak jatuh cinta lagi. aku memang suka travel dengan public transport dan berjalan kaki ni, walaupun aku tau aku makin cranky nowadays. sebab tu walaupun stay at one place for 3-4 days, kiterang dapat mengenali satu-satu tempat tu dengan agak mendalam sebab memang merayau situ je. semakin banyak merayau, semakin rasa macam-macam lagi yang tak explore.

okla, kalau dapat ke kota singa pun aku akan puas hati. tak pernah lagi ambil gambar dekat lion statue tu.

selama hampir 5 tahun kat uk dulu, aku kira sangat blessed dan bersyukur punya kesempatan dan minat yang sama untuk travel. kalau tak sama minat susah juga nak jadi kan. walaupun takdelah satu europe tu dapat tawan, dapat ke 2 or 3 cities pon kira quite an achievement. aku masih punya impian untuk backpacking satu hari nanti. anak-anak yang disayangi, please be at your best behavior while ayah and maa are away =)

memang takde holiday plan dalam masa terdekat ni pon. tengok gambar-gambar lama untuk kasi motivasi..

tiba-tiba terkenang..

first heard it on Juno, I love it as much as I love the carpenter's version.

Set - I love shopping
Subset - Apa yang berkenaan shopping, I love too, including online shopping.

okla, i don't mind spending hours in front of online shops browsing stuffs. lepas tu berangan itu dan ini. satu masa dulu, memang hanyalah a click away on your fingertips. kalau kau spend at least beberapa pound, dapat dah free delivery. kadang tu di waktu offer, takyah beberapa pound pon, hatta 1 pound pon boleh. online shops, sikit punya banyak. highstreet shops, mostly allow you to do online shopping. pada aku, buku, kain, tudung, toys, clothing well it depends tak kisah nak beli online. kata orang tak belek sendiri dengan tangan pon takpe. nevertheless, how much i enjoy online shopping, i still prefer shopping at shops.

kepuasan memilih dengan mata dan tangan dan diakhiri dengan pembayaran ialah incomparable. tujuan utama online shopping pada aku ialah better offer dan sangat convinient, dan diikuti pula dengan perasaan yang sangat excited dan anxious nak tunggu barang sampai. nak-nak kalau musim sales,betapa sesaknya malls dengan shopaholics sekalian. macam hari tu tak pasal-pasal aku menjadi mangsa copet.

kelemahan aku kalau online shopping, aku tak boleh melayan sangat. nanti jadi terlampau nak sampai boleh jadi desperate. ada satu kes, entah kenapa dan bagaimana, aku nak saaaanngggaaat mulberry bayswater sampai sanggup nak beli walau di mana dan apa cara sekali pon. oklah, handbags ialah kelemahan nombor satu. mujur saya berjaya menjadi waras selepas itu. kalau main beli dan dapat fake, tak ke sakit hati. dahle sakit hati, dengan o.h pulak nanti mesti ada lecturing session one on one.

sejak balik, kiterang sudah tidak aktif membeli secara online lagi. o.h kata dia takde apa nak beli, ops silap dia ada beli something itu hari dari us dan berjaya sampai within a week. dia sangat suka dengan pembeliannya. aku pulak, ada gak husya-husya kain dan beli sehelai dua locally. tapi sebab senang nak dapat aku rasa i'll opt for kedai lah. my last purchase from uk was quite a success. setelah aku putus harapan dan sikit lagi nak pegi mengamuk kat post opis, sampai jugak barang tu. oh ya, aku purchased waktu sale dan tak dikenakan delivery fees.bila chek balik on pakej, dah sampai dan lepas kastam dalam seminggu lebih lepas purchase made dan aku tatau apesal barang boleh stuck kat pos opis dalam sebulan. walau apa pon, alhamdulillah barang sampai dan boleh laa beli lagi next time ;)

miss ebay. miss amazon =(

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Sept 24th, 2005

angin takde, ribut takde, baru-baru ni boleh pulak aku bermimpikan edinburgh

citernya camni, aku tatau aku buat apa kat sana, tapi macam wandering around. aku tak taulah tempat tu kat mana, but it became familiar. bila aku merayau tu, macam tau nak ke mana. bila naik bas tu macam reti je. lama-lama tu aku baru perasan.

aku sendiri macam dah lupa dengan edinburgh. tempat jatuh inikan dikenang, inikan pula tempat yang kasi aku macam-macam pengalaman yang tak boleh untuk ditrade dengan apa pon. dalam sedar tak sedar tu mungkin aku sendiri yang rindu. rindu ke? kalau tak rindu pun ada perasaan syahdu huhuhuhu..

despite everything, the acceptance was always a highly regard to o.h. katanya senang ke awak nak dapat sebabnya aku selalu kata, whatever it is, it's a business to uni. mestilah dia welcome students especially international.

dalam tempoh setahun tu, i've learned a lot. southampton is the place where our journey begins, but edinburgh is where i stand alone. pintu edinburgh somehow ialah aku hari ni.

after 5 years.. aku miss the unpredictable weather. aku miss its surrounding. aku miss the picturesque of medieval and georgian architecture. aku miss kebab palmyra yang tak boleh ditandingi mana-mana kedai kebab kat soton. aku miss the biting coldness. aku miss nasi kari masjid. aku miss deretan highstreet shops kat princes street. aku miss scottish english yang pelik tu. aku miss uni. aku miss fort kinnaird. paling absurd aku miss scotland.

kalaulah aku owner dslr time ni, uuu jangankan air mata aku meleleh (sebelah je), air mata korang-korang pon mengalir sama hehehe

cool tau sapa-sapa yang nak melancong tu, pergilah edinburgh.serius, cantek gila. ah benci i ;(

slowly fading, and gone.. hopefully not yet

ada terpike juga nak stop kadang-kadang tu, tapi macam sayang. yelah, 2010 will mark its 6th anniversary. aku bukannya ada cerita, aku bukannya ada berita. kadang-kadang tu nak bikin sensasi juga. tapi lebih kepada sharing, dan such a reminder. to be honest, aku ada jugak la saja-saja belek entri lama-lama, kadang-kadang tu senyum simpul gak haha.. o.h kata tak malu baca blog sendiri.

jadi sementara ni, biarlah dulu aku keep on posting..

towards the new club april nih, aku menjadi a bit neurotic and anxious. cuba ingat-ingatkan balik apa yang aku dah achieved from different perspectives. mestilah ada yang membanggakan dan yang dan tak berapa. orang kata tak usahlah dikenang-kenang, tapi somehow itulah part of aku yang akan dibawa sampai bila-bila.

Adalah sorang makcik tu cakap macam ni,

Put the past behind before you can move on.

Okla, good habits yang aku harap akan diteruskan sampai bila-bila:

• plenty of water,
• more readings..
• banyakkan istighfar
• more exercises
• swimming ialah latest terapi

ja ne..

how do you define a feeling like you're longing for something, somewhere, someone.. well, i'm not feeling sad but for an unknown reason i'm a bit melancholy.

..once called the america's best unknown band, but not the way it is anymore from buffalo new york, goo goo dolls 



a good fren of mine posted this song on her facebook a few days ago, which made me commented 'one of best songs ever'.

agaknya dah berapa banyak kali aku repeat lagu yang sama sampai terasa pulak sedih menjelang raya disebabkan melodi dan lirik dia yang menyentuh hati dan perasaan.. uhuhu

aku duk melayan blog kat google reader aku, then stumbled upon satu blog ni citer jem gila kat karak highway semalam. ya, semalam karak highway jem gila sampai dinasihatkan untuk tidak sama-sama meramaikan majlis congestion kat highway tu. dah le highwaynya berbukit-bukit selalunya ada saja kereta yang berasap. jangankan kereta, kepala driver keta pon berasap sama..

tahun ni nampaknya tidaklah aku melalui karak highway, juga tidak tahun lepas. rasanya last sekali was in 2007, balik beraya kat kampung mak aku nun kat kuala terengganu sana tuu. masa perjalanan: 7-8 jam depends pada keadaan trafik. sejak beberapa tahun kebelakangan ni jem kat karak highway tu makin menjadi-jadi. aku tak ingat tahun bila, tapi waktu tu highway yang bypass sampai kuantan tu tak siap lagi (dem aku memang tatau nama ye) beratur laa kereta-kereta nak balik kampung ni hampir sepanjang perjalanan dari karak tu sampai kuantan disebabkan single lane. puh dah duduk melepak kat rnr dekat berapa jam pun tak surut-surut jugak. bila nak balik kl balik toksah cakap la karak highway tu. jadi kalau insaf silalah menggunakan laluan alternatif yang lain.

tiba-tiba di pagi-pagi buta ni aku teringatkan zaman budak-budak aku dulu balik kampung. mak aku kampungnya terengganu, ayah aku pulak negeri sembilan yang perjalanannya less than 2 jam dari gombak. time nak balik beraya memang antara yang paling seronok, mostly disebabkan travelnya. itu yang seronok kampung jauh-jauh bagi aku la. boleh dikatakan kiterang balik dua-dua hampir setiap tahun mengikut giliran mana raya dulu. jadi memang at least setahun sekali memang akan travel jauh (jauh tu 400++ km one way).

apa yang seronok ye? ayah aku prefer untuk drive di malam hari dulu-dulu sebabnya nanti kiterang semua tidur dan dia boleh drive dalam suasana yang aman damai. lagipun kereta tak banyak sangat compared to siang hari. biasala bila berjalan jauh, macam-macam hal kiterang ni. mula-mula main baik je, dah bosan main mesti bergaduh punya. lepas tu sesi leteran dan kemudian tertidur penat. then kiterang sangat teruja bila sampai paka sebabnya ada api seumpama api olimpik. ini sebenarnya area kilang penapisan petroleum laa. nak-nak bila kau lalu di malam hari, sangat cantik.

juga seronok bila singgah makan. kadang-kadang mak aku pun bernostalgia bila singgah kat tempat makan zaman muda-muda dia dulu, e.g area kuantan yang serius aku tak ingat nama. yang aku kagum, rasa masakannya sama je dari zaman dulu sampai laa sekarang, menurut mak aku dan deria rasa seingat aku. kat area kuala terengganu tu pulak memang banyak tempat makan besh dan shopping juga besh especially bila kau bawak local dan cuba menjadi local. kiterang dengan slang yang obviously fail dan berterabur ni selalunya toksah cakap banyak la ye hahaha

mungkin kena belajar cara-cara paling optimum untuk memenuhkan satu hari dengan visit rumah sedara-mara bila esok pagi kau nak bertolak balik dah. rumah wajib saja dah ada at least 5 kut.

sori ini edisi balik kampung jauh. next time aku citer version lenggeng pulak hehehehehe

awat laa aku bernostalgia nak-nak di pagi raya ni? raya ialah perfect excuse untuk tiba-tiba kau bernostalgia dan menunjukkan lebih emosi. raya juga masa untuk kau beringat-ingat dan musim untuk ziarah-menziarah. raya juga penuh dengan keinsafan dan kau akan rasa betapa lucky dikelilingi famili tersayang dan betapa senang dan blessednya hidup.

korang, kirim salam kiterang kat famili sana ye..

aku? officially musim pantang hampir ke penghujung =D

ini adalah satu lagi entri tiada tujuan a.k.a cerita kosong a.k.a tidak relevan.

sapa pandai cuba teka apakah kain kaler biru royal atau navy blue (kut??). sewaktu o.h tunjuk kat aku bebaru ni, dengan tiba-tiba aku teringat, ye nilah kaler tema saya waktu kita kawen itu hari.

sungguh pening memikirkan pasal kaler tema, ini dalam kes aku. satu aku sendiri tatau kaler apakah yang umph. dua dalam masa yang sangat singkat persiapannya, apakah sempat nak buat benda2 yang orang lain sudah mula prepare dalam at most setahun punya period? then aku tau memang banyak combination kaler yang cantek-cantek dan comel-comel, tapi aku cuba untuk lari dari mainstream atau tidak mahu nampak terlalu ayu di hari besar itu nanti. takkan la hitam pulak kan, tapi dengan kombinasi yang pandai akan nampak umph dan sleek nanti, pecayalah hehehehe.. since mem besar yakni mak aku tau yang aku suka biru maka dia mencadangkan biru.. tapi biru lembut-lembut gitu. ye mak aku memang bertastekan kaler yang lembut-lembut gitu, biru lembut laa, kuning susu la.. cokelat lembut laa.. tidak..oh those kalers, they're totally not me.. huh mengada sungguh laa..

kemudian, tiba-tiba satu hari aku terbayangkan biru yang sangat gelap. mula-mula aku suggest kita combinekan dengan cream, then ada makcik aku bersama mak aku kata kombinasinya nampak sour. then substitute dengan putih. semua orang aku suruh pakai kaler biru tua gelap tu. sampaikan ayah aku terus nampak slim je dengan baju melayu kaler biru gelap ahahha.. orang lain sapa tade kaler biru tua asal tudung or baju berbungakan biru tua pon kira bolehlaa tuu.. sekali lagi diingatkan, saya memang tidak minat sangat kesamaan hahahahahaa.. tapi aku ni pelik, kadang suka kadang tak berapa suka.. jadi kalau nampak aku dan o.h pakai tshirt sama tu tandanya suka laa tu hahahaha

ok berbalik pada cerita tadi, memang pening kepala rupanya nak carik barang-barang untuk hantaran dan hias bilik bila kita nak ikut kaler tema ni tadi. sebabnya bila melibatkan benda-benda kecik, memang sakit kepala dan menaikkan darah tinggi orang-orang tertentu especially bila kau nak jadi fussy padahal nak kawen less dari dua bulan dah. kemudian bila kau opt untuk kaler yang bukan mainstream, manalah nak dapat dekat kedai ready made. masuk kedai keluar kedai menambahkan penat, hampa dan pressure. last solution, beli juga asalkan biru dan ada putih.

sebagai kesimpulannya, anything is possible ;)

eh apa pulak tak relevan, inikan bulan anniversary. in case di hari itu nanti tak dapat nak post entri super special..

daa



hadiah anniversary, priceless.. another lil missy kekekekekekee